I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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