i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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