If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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