hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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