We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
