Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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