Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize