I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
