Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
