my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
