I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
