There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
