Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
