he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
