your thong is hanging out like whoa
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
