Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My life is pants optional.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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