I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I did not marry a roomba.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
