So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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