Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
