Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
