Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
