You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
