i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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