The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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