i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
