does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
