If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
