I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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