Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
