FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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