I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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