He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
