How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
