oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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