We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
