I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
