I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
only you would photoshop your dick
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
