I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
