I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
