someone threw a dead crab at me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
