every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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