i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
