Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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