Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
