I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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