Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
