i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
