It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
