I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
