all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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