i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
