i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
