Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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