i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
