No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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