Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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