i think i have herpe
just one?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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