don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
