I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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