My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
