He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sponge bath it is.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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