It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
