And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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