i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize