Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
